A Thousand Lifetimes
by the.m1ghty.pen
Summary: There has only been one lifetime I have lived without the Avatar. I have been many people. But all it takes is one. One lifetime to destroy the moments when I meet those eyes, and I know that here is my destiny. Kataang. Rating merely for mature themes.


A/N: This can be considered a sort of prequel yet at the same time a sequel to my _Air of Change_ story that may or may not be published in the near future. I've got a couple other stories I need to finish first. This is what I believe about the Avatar and the women/men that have been by the Avatar's side. Or, well, something of that nature. It's way better than this a/n sounds at least. This story can have a couple interpretations. If you're a Korra fan, the end might mean a KorraxBolin pairing (although technically the theory of this story wouldn't quite work for LOK). If you're not a Korra fan, then you can make it whatever you want.

In this story, I feel it might explain the instant friendship/love thing between Aang and Katara, but also why Katara was so hopeful and to me it sort of explains why she might have been a certain way in the show. Although I sort of doubt the creators were thinking about this when they wrote _Avatar_…

Started: 10/22/14

Finished: 10/24/14

Edited: 10/24/14

A Thousand Lifetimes

There has only been one lifetime I have lived without the Avatar. I have been many people, lived many lives as a bender and a non-bender. At no one moment can I tell you all of my names or even what their lives were like so many lifetimes ago. But I know I have been by the Avatar's side to bring peace and justice.

But there was one time I wasn't. Once is usually all it takes. And it did. A lifetime when my soul did not find its mate. One lifetime to destroy the moments when I meet those eyes, and I know that here is my destiny.

Water

His name was Kuruk. He was handsome, brash and arrogant and the moment I saw him was one even my old spirit will never forget.

I met him during the New Moon Celebration. It was the annual festival of the moon and ocean spirits and those of us from the Southern Water Tribe journeyed north to participate. We didn't realize the celebration was two-fold so that we could also congratulate the Avatar's mastery of all four elements.

There was not much I wanted to see of his display. My grandfather had passed not one month prior, and I was still grieving. I stood on the bridge overlooking one of the many canals when I heard someone coming.

He was standing to my right, and when I looked at him in the eye, I couldn't have moved even if I had wanted to.

A breath of warm autumn air whispered through the strands of my hair, and I saw a sky bison, yellow and orange robes, and intricate tattoos. There were monks meditating, children playing and laughing. Then one woman walked by and smiled at me. I winked back.

Summer's heat warmed my skin as I tossed a ball to myself. I swung it in the air, dodged and destroyed an imaginary opponent before finally thrusting out an arm and pushing fire out from my fist. The ball flamed as it fell. A boy cried out and rushed over, tackling me to the ground and putting the fire out. He looked at me, bright eyes inches from mine and I was gone.

The early chill of spring tickled the hairs on my arms and caused me to rub my hands over them, but I liked the feeling. It felt like growth – the kind granted by the earth. It sent a thrill through my veins. Today the Avatar was going to visit our town. I had no idea what he looked like, but I'd heard dozens say he was the best earthbender there ever was. I wasn't ready to believe it. I was a pretty good earthbender, but I crashed into someone, hearing them laugh and apologize. I looked up, irritated, meeting the eyes of the man who had knocked me off of my feet. Something inside my chest clicked, like a dislocated joint popping back into place only without the pain. I _knew_ this man; my soul was stretching towards him.

Flurries of snowflakes floated around us as the girls made snow angels. I laughed, sharpening the jawbone of my polar bear spear. The icy wind stung my face, but I concentrated on the consistent back and forth of the granite in my hand. A shove in the middle of my back cause me to face plant into the snow and when I finally looked, she was laughing, hands holding her stomach.

Kuruk was standing in front of me, shaking me. I blinked rapidly, the visions retreating into a wisp of memory deep within my mind. Breathing heavily, I only said two words.

"It's you."

Standing so close to me with his hands on my shoulders was as if two dear friends had reunited after years and years of separation. Like I had found a part of me I hadn't known was missing. It was the strangest and best thing I'd ever felt.

Kuruk looked puzzled for a moment before he spoke. "I seem to remember you, too."

From then on we were together, and I loved him.

Even when his arrogance had infuriated the spirit Koh and the monster trapped me in the spirit world and took my face I loved him. He was the other half of me.

But a faceless mortal like me couldn't exist forever in the spirit world. I tried to wait for him. But eventually, I faded.

Earth

I hated war. Chin was especially proficient at it. But there she was – a tall, determined and fully realized Avatar that stood up for justice. I couldn't say that I had done the same.

Although fighting in Chin's army, I was there by force. He tried to use my family as blackmail, but I had learned six months ago that he had already killed them. Now I was just waiting for the right time when I could be free of him.

Here was my moment. It took everything I had in me to slip away from Chin's army for a few minutes. I was shaking with the thought of speaking to the great Avatar Kyoshi, but I had to try.

When I walked in and saw her, some piece of me quieted. It was the only way to describe it. I had been in such turmoil for so long that I began to cry. It was almost impossible to tear my eyes away from her, even though they were blurry, but I finally did. I fell to my knees, hands on the grass and forehead on my hands.

"You are from Chin's army." There wasn't much inflection in her tone.

"Please," I begged. I told her of my family. "I want to be free of him. I want to be _free_."

She could tell there was no earthbending in me, but somehow, even though her voice sounded cold and analytical to me, she agreed to let me stay. I almost melted into the floor with relief.

"What can I do to show you thanks?" I asked.

She paused for a moment. "Do you know of any way besides killing Chin to end this war and make peace for my people?"

I only knew of one thing. Chin was deathly afraid of water. He couldn't swim. He would never get on a boat. If her people were an island, he probably would never risk going there. I couldn't read her face, and she sent me out.

The next day, she separated the land. Seeing so much raw and controlled power was simply breathtaking. All I could do was stare. As we drifted, Chin fell to his death. I can't say I was sad. She was prepared to kill him to assure peace for her people, and I couldn't blame her. I was ready for him to be gone.

Finally, there was peace. It engulfed me, and that peace made our lives worth it in the form of our daughter. Kyoshi and Koko outlived me, and again I tried to wait. This time, I made it.

Fire

He thought I never noticed him. It was true in a way. I hadn't at first. The way of my family was absolute – being born to the wealthiest family in the Fire Nation meant marriage to royalty, even if I couldn't bend. I had no objection, though I often wandered the beach, thinking wistfully of something fulfilling that I knew I'd had before. It was a wisp of fog in my mind – untouchable and out of my grasp. Yet somehow I knew that I'd felt true fulfillment before.

And there he was. Laughing and joking with the crown prince. I knew there was something more to him, and the more I saw of him, the more I realized that I liked him for his kindness and intelligence.

When he came back a fully realized Avatar, and regaled us with the tales of learning air, water and earth bending, I appreciated the persistence of his character.

I didn't need the quick yet unknown memory of a powerful earthbender, nor the intricate vision of a powerful air nomad bending a tornado to his will. I saw the qualities here, in Avatar Roku. They were the qualities I'd never known I'd searched for.

Finally, he found the courage to speak to me. Later, he'd told me earthbending had been what he had needed to learn the determination to ask me to a dance.

That memory is as detailed as if it happened yesterday.

Although I was expected to marry royalty, my father couldn't deny Avatar Roku's request for my hand in marriage. Just think – the Avatar! my father had said after Roku departed. Fire Lord Sozin may have been my father's first choice, but in his mind the Avatar was better.

Our life was so happy together, exactly what I had wanted. The fulfillment that surrounded me when I was with Roku spoke clearly that here, with him, was where I was meant to be. When the volcano erupted that destroyed us, I went with peace, knowing somehow that I would see him again.

Air

The Western Air Temple was home. Nomads from the Southern Air Temple had traveled to the one in the east to choose a bison, and we were next. Everyone was ecstatic to go. I especially was excited, but nervous too. I was not the best airbender; things didn't come as easily to me as they did to most of the other kids.

Would a bison even want to accept me?

When we arrived, it was an amazing site to see the bison flitting around the Air Temple. We had bison, too, but they all belonged to the other airbenders. They were friendly, but it was nothing like being able to have your own.

I stood in the background while everyone else offered an apple to a sky bison calf. I rolled the apple in my hands, tense. Something nudged my back, and I looked behind me, shocked to find a little calf, brown eyes large and luminous as it stared at me. I looked at the others and noticed this one was smaller, a runt. I whispered a hello, and offered my apple.

We were best friends from then on.

Tika and I often roamed the skies after that, content to stay to ourselves. The monks encouraged separation from the world, but didn't like the way we set ourselves apart. We just preferred to be alone instead of meditate and engage in long, boring conversations about philosophy.

Six years to the day that Tika chose me, and the fire rained down like a furious volcano on our temple. It was everywhere, and the heat was scorching. It burned and I wasn't even near it. How did one stand a fire so bright?

There were so many screams, so many angry shouts, and everywhere was panic.

The sky was red with the comet's flame, and I could hear Tika crying for me. I tried to get to her, but some of the monks were pulling me back, dragging me into the dark depths of our fortressed shelter deep in the earth.

A kindly earthbender had helped us build it, or so the elders said, and had rigged the door so that once we were inside it sprung shut. We were trapped in there forever, unless the Fire Nation found us there.

I mourned for Tika. I knew they wouldn't have let her live. What had happened? Why would they do this to us? We never bothered anyone.

No one had answers.

A few elders had made it into the shelters, along with a few teachers and twenty or so children. I was one of five my age that had made it inside. I despaired of what must have come of my fellow airbenders.

The shelter was stocked with canned items. For five long years we ate crackers and beans. We all grew skinny. We all grew hungry.

The elders died first. Mostly from hunger. We all were taught to abstain from greed, but in a place such as this, teachings don't always prevail.

After a year, my ribcage and spine were pronounced. After two, my arms were sticks. After three, I began to dream.

They were pieces of lives that weren't mine, yet I could feel it as if I'd actually lived them. I felt what it was like to earthbend, to be steady and immovable. I sensed the delicate rumbles of the earth beneath my back as I lay smiling under the sun. I experienced the flow of water all around me, a part of me as much as the ocean. It wound inside of me, filling my body with cool sense and easy nature. I touched the pulse of fire, what it should be, and the difference when fueled by anger.

Many of the children gave up after that year. I comforted them as best as I could, but they didn't have my dreams. They didn't have the hope of something better.

After four years, I could barely walk around. The dreams and visions came often now since I was tired much faster than before. And I could feel it. I could feel the assurance of a better life, the hope that pulsed inside my heart telling me the Avatar was still alive.

By now I understood the Fire Nation's plan for our destruction. I knew the Avatar had been born an Air Nomad. I could sense it, sense things in a spiritual way that I had never been able to before I was so close to death. I could feel the shift of balance with the loss of my people.

Yet there was still hope. Even in this dark cave, my soul refused to give up hope. It was bound to something still living.

But where was he? Wasn't he the Avatar? Wouldn't he defeat the Fire Nation and come for me, like I somehow knew he always had?

After five years, I couldn't stand. I could scoot about the floor as needed, but I ate little. I wasn't ever really hungry anymore. My hope had almost turned to despair.

When I doubted the Avatar was alive, the deepest part of my soul would riot, and I'd have to laugh harshly to myself. It knew this wasn't over. It knew it had to hold on, but the other side of me was too tired to do so.

I was too weak to want to keep living. And as I glanced around at the mounds of earth, I wondered who would bury me.

It was bordering on the sixth year when they finally found me and pounded through the thick earth door. I welcomed the precious few breaths of fresh air. I was suddenly more alive than I'd felt since the attacks.

However, I knew it was over for me. They looked me over, glanced around the shelter and saw all the graves I'd dug. They covered their noses from the stench. I had long since gotten used to it.

I welcomed the fire when it rushed towards me.

There was no getting around it. I was lost. Not like the last times – how did I know there were "last times"? – I was here and was waiting for something. Why was my soul desperate to linger here? What was I waiting _for_?

The spirits couldn't answer me. Even Hei Bai, a gentle panda and protector of a forest, wouldn't tell me. Either they were keeping the information from me, or they, too had no idea why I was here.

Perhaps the only spirit who had an inkling of why my soul lingered was Koh. He was sly, deceitful and scary. I stayed away from him as much as possible. He tried to goad me under his tree, but I knew him. Somehow I knew he had persuaded me before and could steal a face. When I ran after he mentioned something about the Avatar, he laughed cruelly.

Days and nights and endless days I wandered the Spirit World. Why was I stuck here? What was it that I searched?

Soon, despair seeped in, and the feelings were no longer bearable. I had once been a spirited, proud and content airbender. But I had been trapped in a cave, buried my comrades and was now trapped again in this no man's land.

I was no longer the quiet, wallflower airbender I'd been. I was sad, angry, impassioned and sobbing for hours at a time. There was an ache, a part of me that _missed_ someone. I could always feel that loss so keenly, never knowing something that I was meant to have. The cycle was broken – I could feel it as if it were my own bone – but I had no idea what cycle it was.

Next time, I would be stronger. Next time, I would survive. I would shelter myself from the agony of loss, loneliness and despair.

Why was I so sure there would _be_ a next time?

I started to fade. I felt relief so strong I nearly crumpled with it. Maybe this would be the answer. Maybe this would finally mean peace.

As the faint light around me dimmed, I saw a giant wolf spirit pad up to me. His nose was bigger than my whole body, but when he opened his mouth to speak, his words made the hope leap inside of me and his deep, gentle voice spoke life into my soul.

"You will see him again."

Water

I never thought there was something different about this boy until Sokka stopped me an hour after I'd met him. What was it about him that had almost made me leave my home, my family and my responsibilities without a second thought? There was something about him, something different that I felt I recognized, but could I be sure?

Since the Fire Nation had taken my mother, I had hoped for the Avatar. Everyone believed me stupid. Somehow, I knew I wasn't. I knew that he was here. I knew he was alive. A voice like a cool breeze always whispered in the back of my mind, "You will see him again."

When I'd first met Aang's eyes, I'd felt a strange tug, then gratitude that I'd been able to help this boy. He felt familiar, but there was nothing that could enlighten me to why that was.

Again, Sokka made me think. He made it real.

I couldn't believe my eyes when Aang whipped up a huge gust of wind and dried the volcano about to destroy a village. Sokka mentioned something about Aang being a powerful bender – mentioned it twice – and suddenly it was there.

The heat of the volcano about to crush us was overwhelming. I was choking on the smoke. The smell of the autumn breeze rushing through the temples as lemurs frolicked in the trees engulfed me as I listened to the laughter of happy children. The earth was solid beneath my feet as I tasted the fresh dew of spring.

I remembered now. Bits and pieces of other lives came back to me, though at the time I didn't know they were mine. I had only just realized that perhaps Aang was my destiny.

Love came slower in this lifetime. There was war and hatred and bitterness and I wasn't impervious to it. There were times that I would be so angry with him, but I wouldn't understand why. There were others when I would feel so protective of him, afraid he would be stolen away from me and I'd feel so lost again that I'd even threatened someone.

We couldn't love like we had. Not right away at least. My soul had been damaged by the ages I had spent wandering the Spirit World, searching for what I now knew was him. I had waited to feel his soul, but I hadn't. I'd been alone.

I had never understood the hope my soul had harbored when I was younger, nor had I fathomed the reason that I was prone to crying. But as I grew older, more in touch with the spirits, I recognized it as the results of my loneliness in the Spirit World.

Aang could sense it, too. He had always been more in touch with the spiritual side of things, but when he aged we were able to ask the spirits, and they told us of the Avatar cycle. Not the one everyone knew – of the Avatar's soul born into a different nation every lifetime. They told us about the Old Souls. Of course, the Avatar was one. But there were others as well. Mine was an Old Soul.

But Old Souls were never destined to be alone. They would never stop looking, never stop searching until they found the one other soul that would compliment their own, mirror them and complete them.

I never realized the exact moment my bitterness gave way and thankfulness took its place, but I began to be grateful for the time I'd been lost. Even though we had been apart for a lifetime – and longer, and we might have been alone in this one, too – without it neither of us would have understood why we were so drawn to each other.

It allowed us in this lifetime to realize that through all of our lifetimes, save one, we were together. And I knew, as I survived him, we would find each other the next time, too.

Earth

I don't have to wonder who that piece of me belongs to anymore. I don't have to wonder why no other girl has ever caught my eye. I don't have to wonder if fate will deign to bring us together again. I know who I am now – who I have been and who I will be.

She is in the Southern Water Tribe, I know that much, and she's going to help this new world find its peace again. And I will be there to help her, even if sometime soon I need to travel to her because I haven't met her yet.

But the Avatar and I are meant to be with each other.

We are two souls that were always together as one, and will be for another thousand lifetimes.

And when I meet her, I can smile and know this is where I belong. I can say, "It's you."

And she will tell me, "I've been waiting for you."

00000

A/N: So? Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Review and I shall answer. Unless you don't log in. I can't answer questions that way. Hope you liked it. By the way, the first Air memory is of Avatar Yangchen. And just in case you didn't get it, the cycle the Air Nomad girl was talking about was the bending/nationality cycle. The Avatar and his soulmate had a greater chance of their souls finding each other if they were of the same element. The cycle broke, meaning Aang remained an airbender while her spirit was forced to move on in the form of Katara. There was a huge chance they never would have met, regardless if there'd been genocide and Aang had been trapped in ice. So then for the last one with Earth was why he talked about fate and that he didn't have to worry if (since they were born of a different element) they would ever meet. Because now they knew each other since Aang and Katara talked to the spirits and would be able to recognize the other's soul.


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